The Weekly(ish) Update - Issue 0008

The Weekly(ish) Update
6th October 2009
Issue Eight

Life is about more than just me…

As I have mentioned I have been in heaps of pain the past few weeks, pain that has been so severe that I have been unable to do much else as I have not wanted to make it worse, or it has been so bad, that I have been unable to concentrate on doing anything other than try to get rid of the pain I have been feeling.

I felt as if I was on a bit of a roll prior to injuring myself, that I was making good progress towards setting up Custom Vision and achieving the goals I was setting for myself, but since I have been trying to get better one of the main things I have been thinking about is how much time I have wasted not doing what I want to be doing, and even though I know I need to look after myself and get healthier, I also know that what I want to do with Custom Vision will effect more people than just me.

I left New Zealand and went to Australia all those years ago because I knew that whatever I did there I would be okay, that after years of standing on my own two feet in a variety of situations that I would be able to do the same thing there, regardless of what happened, and even though I had some spectacular failures growing up in New Zealand, that life had a funny way of reminding me I would always have to be willing to learn, that I was ready for my next step.

I wasn’t ready to arrive and have everything stolen, but in some ways I guess you could say I was prepared for it, I knew I had to get a job, and I did even though it was 800kms from where I was, I knew I could get there, and I did even though I had no where to stay when I got there, but I worked it out, regardless of what happened I have always worked it out.

I have been in and out of so many peoples lives that at various points in my life I have actually stepped back and decided that I have not liked what I was doing to people, that it wasn’t fair on them that I would not remain a part of their lives so I it would be easier on them if I never became a part of peoples lives if I could help it, consciously giving to people but never accepting anything from anyone if I could help it, often at a huge cost to myself physically and emotionally, I have actually stopped living my life at various times because I believed that its effect was negative to others.

So many times I have experienced humanity in its various forms, life lessons that have shown me parts of myself that I perhaps would otherwise never have known had it not been for someone else showing me parts of who they are, who they really are, not knowing underneath everything I have been hiding from, that I have been looking at them and seen parts of myself.

Circumstances have allowed me to experience a vast variety of other peoples lives, to realise that what I want to do is possibly not what I have been doing, to learn that I am lucky enough through my life to have many choices that so many others don’t, choices that others do not know or are not in a position to see.

I have seen people around me make huge mistakes in their lives, I have made huge mistakes in my life, and yet I consider myself lucky enough to be able to grow from these parts of my life, instead, as many people I have met have done, become trapped by them.

I grew up quickly not because I wanted to or had to, I grew up quickly because it was part of my life, I saw things at a very young age that I hope no one ever sees, yet I am not so naïve to pretend that no one ever will see a version of those same events in their life, or worse, because part of my growing up has included acceptance of others and the simple fact that these things happen and what is important to me may not be important to anyone else but me, and vice versa, which is not to say everything really is unimportant, but instead that everything can be extremely important within a certain context to anyone of us.

I cherish moments, parts of life that are important to other people I try to look at as they see them, knowing I never can fully appreciate the single gesture within a moment that someone else takes the time to give to me, I instead just try in my own way to acknowledge that moment is shared, that it is that which is important to someone else is not unimportant to me.

I have shared many moments in my life, moments that involve a variety of people, in a variety of situations,

Till soon.. Stay safe.. Be You!!!

.K