The Weekly(ish) Update - Issue 0015

The Weekly(ish) Update
31st May 2010
Issue Fifteen

Every day is simply another step on my journey, a journey that we call ‘life’…

At the moment I am sitting by myself on a couch in the flat above my birth fathers pub in Hamilton, the same place I called home when I first came back to New Zealand after living in Australia, and I have been thinking about what makes me want to continue to do more than I have been doing, what has made me believe that my actions may make a difference in the life of someone else, when I have seemingly spent so long on my own, and why I am inspired almost every day to show those who look at me who I really am.

This week I officially moved away from Wellington, after achieving everything I set out to do there, to Hamilton, where I want to set up a small photography business of my own, and work towards the goals I continue set for myself each and every day.

Prior to leaving I was both excited about completing my bike ride, wanting to move on to my next challenge, and at the same time deflated when that bike ride, and my greatest challenge so far, had become the best experience of my life and at the same time seemingly ended without celebration, something I struggled with a little because even though I knew that was how it would end, I guess a small part of me thought it would have been nice if it had ended differently.

The overall experience taught me a lot, life goes on, and for me to continue the momentum I created I need to stick to my plan, and add to it where required. If I am to achieve all I set out to do in the future feeling bad that something didn’t happen when I knew already that it wouldn’t happen, is only inviting negative thoughts to distract from the simple fact that I completed that goal as planned, and now must move on to the next step of my life.

Good and bad things happen to everyone, some things are better, and others worse, but the reality is that we each define in our own life how much a moment means to us, and no one has the right to say that any moment in life should mean more or less to someone other than themselves, because those are the only eyes we see through each and every day.

Over the years I have met some very lucky, and very unlucky, people. I think that only a fool would say that all people deserve what they get in life, that everyone chooses their own path, because that is simply not true, and where a person is born is a good example of this, simply not knowing you have other options is another.

I know someone who through my eyes seemingly has the perfect life, he is not a superstar, he just lives in a world surrounded by good people, a loving family, a fantastic wife he has been with since I can remember, that loves him for who he is, and together they are the parents of two healthy kids, in a life that I consider ideal. He deserves this life, just as anyone else.

I also know someone who once had the potential to be one of the world’s greatest surfers who was idolised as a teenager, won everything he entered, then one day was in a car accident through no fault of his own, and spent three months in hospital. On the day of his release he walked down the steps of the hospital, looked right instead of left as he stepped on to the road, and was hit by a bus, sending him straight back into hospital. It damaged his brain so severely that he had little, and sometimes no, control over his actions, sometimes causing him to turn violent, or other times pee his pants, and so he eventually spent the rest of his life on the streets as an outcast, then in and out of a variety of institutions, from where which he eventually died alone. He is only one example of millions of people who become a product of what happens to them in life, not what they have done achieve where they are in life.

Life can not be controlled no matter how hard we try to control it, regardless of what the advertisements tell us, the best we can do with our life is simply the best we each can do within our own circumstances. Sometimes if we are lucky enough to have a hand in where it takes us, were we actually end up where we wanted to be, and then when we get where ever we are it is only luck/god/karma that keeps us a moment within any where we find ourselves before something else happens in life to decide where we are taken to next. No one controls our life, and all we can do is the best we can do.

I also believe that within our life, and in the lives of those our actions effect, both directly and indirectly, that we all individually have the ability to change life, to do more, and/or less, to alter the paths we all travel when we try to, which is why I rode my bike around New Zealand, why I want to start a business that donates directly to charity, and why I am here on the couch thinking out loud about what I think about what I need to do next to allow me to do more with the life I am given.

And yes, of course I realise that not everyone who gets these emails actually reads all of them, that even fewer understand all of them, and maybe only one, or perhaps two, are effected in some way, shape or form, by something written in each, somewhere within their content, of one of the thoughts I have sent, and yet I still send them. I still try to remind each of you that you are a part of my life, and thus a part of my journey.

This has just reminded me of something else I wanted to share. A big little friend asked me the other day what the ‘poem’ meant that is attached to the bottom of the emails I send, which I honestly cant ever recall having been asked before, which kind of surprised me a little, but at the same time made me wonder if people decide their own meaning for it, and if they do what does it mean to them?

For me the ‘poem’ is partially who I am, but mostly who I want to be. I told her the poem is about living life.. about what it is like to not being seen by others for who you really are.. and at the same time try to find someone who really wants to know you.. someone who cares.. that people come.. people go.. that you live.. you learn.. you try.. you fail.. you experience.. and you die.. that in the end the only person any of it really matters to is you.. and it is what you do about that what counts.. that the something you are looking for, and all you need, is inside you and yet you still ask yourself do you give up or keep trying? do you live or die?

I actually wrote it when I was 13 or 14 years old, but it still means the same thing today as it did then.. it says regardless of what happened, I have not given up on me (",)

This week I want to continue living my life. I really need to get a job and earn some money so I can pay a few bills, make some progress on my goals, simply continue to do more than I have been doing. I want to recommence my photography course because it was something I started that I wanted to do. I want to actually start my company by registering it, talk to someone about the best way to do this so I do it properly. I also want to create my first product that will be available for sale soon, go to the gym, continue to organise the charity auction I am doing to celebrate my bike ride, and thus get back on the bike so to speak, because by doing even just one of the things that I want to do, I am actually living the life I have been given.

…every day is simply another step on my journey, a journey that we call ‘life’.


Till Soon.. Stay Safe.. Be You.

.K